So today, after going to work and having a delicious dinner with my parents. Me and my good friend Mark went to see a movie. We went to see Easy A.
The movie wasn't exactly a hit, it had it's moments of pure hilarity- but overall it just dragged a bit and was not anything special. The lead character, as many of you may have seen from commercials, was a ginger. Sure this might be a stretch but, her heroic role as a high school harlot brought into my mind other strong leading gingers in the history of the world.
Let us begin with the Vikings. Notably fierce and red haired, they conquered many lands. Truly the first explorers, Vikings discovered wonderous lands (like Iceland and Greenland), Alexander Skarsgard's character on True Blood, Eric, is a Viking. However, my knowledge of Viking history is limited- all I know is they were ginger and they were bad asses. So lets move on.
Henry VIII- ginger. He is on Mrs. Parks 10 Most Important People in History list (from last year in AP Euro). He was also a bad ass, much like the Vikings and myself. And super ginger, but fat- his downfall. He changed the whole of Europe by separating from the Catholic church.... or something. Also, he married tons of women (PIMP), and if you see his character portrayed on Tudors, he is really attractive (and surprisingly fit).
And my last case of strong leading gingers: Queen Elizabeth I. Unlike her sister "Bloody" Mary (not ginger) Queen Elizabeth was pretty much awesome. She took down the Spanish Armada- neat. She endorsed Shakespeare. Essentially, the domination of England and therefore the colonization of America and their further domination (and the awesomeness that is William Shakespeare) can be attributed to gingers.
In closing, I would like to argue that gingers are the root of all of history. I think recent hatred of my people is rooted in the jealousy of knowing gingers are few and far between, and most people can't compete with us. I'm sorry if you can't be like us. *sigh* It's been a good day.
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